Update (oct 6th) Sadly the things I feared most happened. Momentum is everything, timing more so…
Dating this girl was one of the toughest experiences I’ve gone through romantically. She was an actress who worked consecutive 16 hour work days, traveled between San Diego and here, and had other issues that arose amidst our attempt at dating. I remember It wasn’t until our 3rd or 4th date that I actually got to kiss her for the first time. I will be honest, it was one of the worst kisses of my life… She was 21, had only been with one guy before, and I thought perhaps she just had no experience and needed to be taught. The one thing I noticed though from our first kiss was that it felt…”guarded” for a lack of better words. Something wasn’t right…it was almost as though she wasn’t letting go. For the next few weeks when we were together I enjoyed her company immensely. We had a great time, her laugh, sense of humor, and beautiful blue eyes drove me crazy… But when we were apart, her lack of response and communication via text made her feel cold and distant. (with any other girl all these things would be clear indicators of her not being into me) but when with her I didn’t feel it was that simple. A point was reached where I sent her a text message telling her I was in San Diego for the weekend and wanted to see if she wanted to hang out (as she was home from LA during the weekend to re-energize) Her response was brief and dismissive. I felt pretty sick to my stomach thinking that she really wasn’t into me, and that I was really beginning to like someone with no reciprocation. I ended up sending her a text saying “do you even want to date anymore? Please let me know and I’ll part ways if your not into it, I don’t want to waste my time or yours” She ended up calling me (and of course as luck has it call went straight to voice mail) and I couldn’t get a hold of her that day. Her voicemail said that we obviously needed to talk as this was all very silly. I got some hope from her message.
I ended up having a serious conversation with her the next day that just kind of rocked me…
Never ever have I had so many ongoing issues in a girls life that were all very bad for me and entirely out of my control. The conversation was good though because I understood at that point that it didn’t matter if I was the coolest richest most amazing guy in the world, nothing I could do would fix my predicament with her.
Crazy Issues Conversation.
Number 1. She was engaged 2 years ago to the absolute love of her life. I was the first guy since her EX that she tried dating (hence the guarded kiss) It gets much worse though…
Number 2. Said Ex was a special forces Pilot. His plane disappeared on a mission with his crew with NO trace. (operation was top secret) And he “wasn’t supposed to be there” She thought him to be dead and went on to grieve and go through that whole recovery stage over the course of 2 years. (still gets worse)
Number 3. Military tried going to her house in San Diego 3-4 weeks after we were dating to tell her something, they could not get her in person and ended up calling her and telling her they had information regarding her ex but could not tell her over a non secure line. At this point things were going through her head, is he still alive? Did they find the plane? Whats going on? All things that would prevent any feelings to really develope with me. Unfortunately it took her quite some time to talk to them for to only be able to tell her that they found the plane and were now fully committed to finding out what happened. A total mind fuck to her.
Number 4. She was rapped by a photographer Jan 28th of this year. Fucking ASS hole Christian Middle School PE teacher FUCK. I hate hate hate men sometimes…
All these issues doomed this relationship before it even started. I wish I had known half these things before as I would have never asked her out. Oh well, I now know what questions to ask a girl before I start dating her.