This past weekend, I attended a club promoters pre-party. I was forced into a shot fest…and ended up talking to this Russian Girl with BIG steely blue eyes that didn’t look Russian….more midwest blonde…until she of course opened up her mouth. She was a spunky girl, playing aloof for most of our initial interactions. For that evening alone, she was my sparkle pony. She wore this glittery sequin top and jeans that should have been thrown out long ago…or given to a frumpy mommy to wear.
I did end up kissing her briefly on this random bed as she was laying there beckoning me with a finger to come. As I neared her, the smell of smoke on her breath kind of killed the whole experience. I tried to focus on the positives and just stared at her blue eyes in my inebriated state and let time pass until I could make a quick escape and head to club solo…blonde-less and happy.
I spend most of the night avoiding the blond Russian who at random moments would rest her head on my chest and get super affectionate on me. At one point I spotted a Swedish delight with long slender legs and gazelle on over. I converse with her awhile, show her some of my art work, talk about her life, and at point point as this all goes down I feel someone punching my lower back. I immediately figure its the crazy Russian but ignore it as though nothing at all had happened. 1, 2, 3 more punches and finally an arm gets wrapped around me from the side as the Russian drapes her body on me while I pretend as though its totally normal to have a girl draped on your body that isn’t part of the conversation.
Finally after not paying attention to Russian she loses her grip and disappears into the dance floor. This was a good reminder of why I stay away from Russians.